Family 5 (2019/20)

This family constitutes of 5 children and their father (51). The children’s mother (38) has abandoned the family and is now cohabiting with another man with whom she has another child. The father was working at a nearby restaurant as a waiter, yet his meagre income was inadequate to run a family. The eldest from among the five is a 20-year-old young adult who is currently working as a daily wage earner. He has dropped out of school after Grade 11. The 2nd child was 17 years old and has also dropped out of school. Although he has been sent to a vocational training school to learn carpentry, he has returned half-way through. The Child Rights Promotion Officer’s efforts to send him back to complete his training was also not successful. The 3rd child (12) has been ordained as a monk and was studying in a pirivena (monastic school for Buddhist monks).

The 2 youngest children, a 9-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy, have been placed in residential care (i.e. children’s homes) due to the vulnerable situation of the family. The girl was staying in a voluntary child care institution while the boy was in another child care institution run by the government. Thus, not only have they lost parental care and the right to grow up in their own family and community, but they have also been separated from each other. In the absence of parents, siblings are the greatest strength to a child especially psychologically, as has been proven by research as well. However, sibling separation (specially girls and boys) is the norm in Sri Lanka when placing children in alternative care, because of cultural norms pertaining to gender. Further, institutional care, which imposes a routinized lifestyle and lacks individualized care and protection for children, is extremely harmful for the growth and wellbeing of children. Hence this was the second attempt made through the “Building Homes, Building Bonds” programme, at reuniting children with their family of origin and giving them another chance at life.

This family did not have a house to live in as their house was completely destroyed due to the floods in 2018. The father and his 2 eldest sons were living in a tent. The government has provided Rs. 350,000 as compensation for the family to rebuild their house. With this money, they have been able to build a house partially, on a land that belongs to the father, located in the Welipitiya DS Division in the Matara District. However, further support was required to complete the house.

With the support of 20 donors, the construction of the house was completed and handed over to the family in August 2020. Subsequently, the 2 children who were in child care homes were reunified with their family.

This was one of the families where we encountered a lot of challenges throughout the process, mainly due to the father’s personality, lack of responsibility and commitment. Despite regular guidance provided by the government field officers/social workers, it was not possible for him to change himself in the best interest of his children. As he was unable to provide proper care as expected, the 2 children were once again at risk of being placed in residential care. However, a solution was found where a relative agreed to stay with them to look after the children and their studies.

One of the most positive outcomes we saw was the reunion of a dispersed family and the rekindling and strengthening of the sibling bonding. It was so endearing to learn how the little sister would tidy up the entire house to welcome her brothers every time they would come to visit. One of the eldest boys is working at a paint factory while the other is working as a threewheel driver. They care very much for their younger siblings and contribute towards their wellbeing financially and materially too as per their capacity.